I am very excited for the opportunity to share words of Torah with you. Each week, in this spot, I look to share an idea I've found that speaks to me and that I think will resonate with you as well. This week, I share with you an excerpt of an article by Dr. Ilene S. Cohen entitled "Jews Aren't People Pleasers", about the lesson of the resilience of the Jewish people as an model for how each of us lives our lives.
[...] The Jewish people [...] are not people-pleasers. Their steadfast adherence to a unique identity has often contributed to discrimination against them. Within families, many individuals employ people-pleasing tactics to blend in, finding it easier to adapt to the ideas and beliefs of their family or dominant culture than to voice their own distinct thoughts, especially if these differ from the mainstream. In effect, they alter their inner world to achieve a sense of belonging. The Jewish community, on the other hand, has historically refrained from such behavior. Much like the pushback I've observed within families when a habitual people-pleaser begins to assert their individuality, the Jewish people have faced similar resistance for maintaining their unique identity. [...]
The Jewish community's resilience offers powerful insights and lessons for other communities and individuals facing similar challenges. Whether it's maintaining cultural practices in the face of assimilation pressures or upholding beliefs amid persecution, the Jewish experience teaches us the importance of preserving one's identity. [...] These beliefs and values underscore the community's commitment to live by their values throughout history. [...] The Jewish community's enduring spirit and resilience are a product of their historical experiences and a testament to their inherent strength. Their story offers a powerful lesson about the importance of self-definition, particularly when others want you to be someone you are not.
The divine proclamation to Moses, "I am who I am," reflects strongly in the narrative of Jewish identity. This statement serves as an affirmation of self-definition and inalterability. It is an assertion of identity that defies change under external influences, much like the Jewish community's unwavering dedication to preserving their traditions and values. Just as God revealed Himself to Moses as a being defined by Himself alone, the Jewish community, too, has charted its course through history by its own definitions, resisting attempts of external shaping or alteration. This parallel draws a compelling connection between the defining characteristics of the Jewish community and the divine self-definition offered by God to Moses.
It reveals that identity is not simply a label assigned by society but a profoundly personal conception born from one's beliefs, traditions, and experiences. Just as the Jewish people have managed to preserve their identity amidst constant challenges, so can you maintain your unique identity despite prevailing societal norms or pressures. [...] Like the Jewish community, each person's identity combines inherited traditions, personal convictions, and lived experiences. It is essential to honor and explore these components [...] to foster a robust sense of self and resilience.
In the contemporary climate, it is more imperative than ever to remain true to your identity, embracing your unique beliefs, traditions, and experiences. As an individual and being part of a society, you can learn from the resilience of the Jewish community, employing their strategies to resist external pressures. Just as the Jewish people have managed to maintain their unique identities throughout history, you, too, should strive to champion your individuality, fortifying your resilience against any form of hateful ideologies. Your identity should be celebrated, not suppressed, forming the bedrock of your psychological well-being and societal harmony.
Hoping and praying for a Shabbat Shalom in every sense of the term,
Rabbi Davies
Rabbi@SOICherryHill.org