"It's not enough to speak, but to speak true."
William Shakespeare: A Midsummer Night’s Dream
Merriam Webster defines a 'word' as “a single distinct meaningful element of speech or writing, used with others (or sometimes alone) to form a sentence.“ Words can be kind, helpful, comforting, and loving or they can be mean, condescending, and hurtful. The grouping of letters doesn’t determine the impact of the word: how we wield the might of our words is up to us.
As empty nesters and happy retirees, my husband Bob and I have some very interesting conversations. Although similar in many ways, in others, we are complete opposites. I spent my career as an art teacher, guiding my students to see the world through their own eyes and develop an individual style unique to their life experiences. As a biology and anatomy professor, my husband lectured the same information year after year, with no deviation from the subject matter, beyond an updated joke here and there.
We have carried these philosophies over to our current lives: I am a woman of few words while my husband is verbose, pedantic, wordy, garrulous… just kidding.
For example, I would rather run a marathon than give a speech in front of adults whereas we need to give Bob a strict time limit AND page limit, or else he will give a forty-five minute Bat Mitzvah speech (my apologies many years later to my daughter, Davida). We also concluded that some ways of speaking are different between men and women. I say things one way and that’s it. Shakespeare also said in Hamlet, “Brevity is the soul of wit”. Bob says the same thing at least 3 different ways. He calls that andragogy.
I questioned, “What happens if you are allotted so many words in your life time and when you use them up, you can never speak again?” Bob found that this concept was attributed to the Baal Shem Tov and is mentioned in Pesukei D’zimrah: he taught that “every person is allotted a given number of words during his life. When he used up his quota he dies. Thus, by guarding his tongue, one assures himself of greater longevity” – Artscroll Siddur.
It is easy to spread “news” throughout the community without stopping to consider the source or the impact of your words. I am guilty of this myself, but I have made a concerted effort to be conscious of every word from my lips, because you never know how your words will be interpreted by someone else. This has been put to the test recently, with the outbreak of confirmed COVID cases within our community. Rumors are flying regarding the number of affected, what is being done, what ISN'T being done but should be, and who is responsible… There is so much still unknown about COVID and the different variants, but the lashon hara increases the worry and heartache tenfold.
People are worried about being judged, so they might not admit they tested positive. People might say they are just under the weather and put off being tested because of the stigma. This harms the community and causes others to be unnecessarily infected. We cannot control what people think or feel but we can actively work to reduce the stigma surrounding COVID and admitting a positive result by reducing the gossip.
We are partnering with Politz and our own SOI COVID Task Force to mitigate this recent spread within our community and to be as transparent as possible. We will never reveal someone’s medical status or make private information shared with us available to the public. We ask for your cooperation in staying home when feeling ill, getting tested, and sharing positive results with Rabbi Davies or myself. I feel like I am parodying my husband when I type this, but I must repeat, your personal information will not be shared, but sharing your positive results will help the community. If you or a family member have tested positive or are not feeling well, please stay home. Siblings of known positive cases should NOT come to shul unless their quarantine period has ended.
Please, stay safe and healthy. Protect your neighbors and friends. Reach out to us if you need help or support. We are a community – “a feeling of fellowship with others, as a result of sharing common attitudes, interests, and goals” - trying to work through these times as best we can. Let’s try to support each other.
Shabbat Shalom & Refuah Schleimah to all who are battling this disease,
Donna Moskowitz